AUTHOR'S NOTE: The topic I had chosen was because of something I had received in 4th grade and also because of a show I had watched before.
In a world where there are places that rain is like gold and other places where summer is cold, with winter being a nightmare, the people might go extinct soon if they don’t find a miracle. One day the gods that everyone believed in gave them hope, gave them a miracle. The gods had given them the talismans of power. They had the powers of the elements. There are 5 talismans of, fire for warmth, water for thirst and crops, lightning to get rid of the many creatures ruining lives, air for breathing in a place where ashes had lain, and earth for places without soil to grow crops. Each of the talismans were given to a different worthy man. Over the decades, people had forgotten about them with all the technology they possessed. Now 5 worthy people were protecting them from the evil that was growing, because in the wrong hands, they could be used to destroy the world instead of making it prosper.
Out of the 5 talismans we talked about, the first to be chased after by evil is the fire element. The evil that is trying to get the talismans, is the Shadow who leads an army of shadow warriors. The shadow had sent a dozen of warriors to get the talismans. The person guarding this talisman was Nick. Nick was a worthy man with many great aspects. He was honest, kind, generous, and hardworking. When Nick had heard of the evil coming, he mad a force-field out of fire, but would that hold off the Shadow. When the shadow warriors were close, he called for help. Who he called for help is a powerful force. He had called the other people with the talismans. He knew them well because they had met up a few times and now they were on their way.
Now that the other talismans were on the way, they would probably be able to hold off the evil, or would they have failed and made the job easier for the shadow by bringing the talismans right to him. When the warriors had gotten to the place where Nick was, they had gotten past the force-field easily. the other people used their powers to make force-fields, but that didn’t work either. If the force-fields couldn’t hold them off, neither would attacks. Was this the end of them and soon the world?
When the talismans didn’t work by itself, they took a different approach. The 5 people combined the talismans powers into one and then made one powerful force-field. The color of the elements together was amazing and elegant. It was like a rainbow, but a 100 times more mesmerizing. Could it hold the evil off.
After they had made the force-field, it had held off the warriors and when the shadow sent more it held them off too. The force-field worked and now the talismans were safe and so was the world. It was a great day. We had a victory that could compare to no other. A victory that saved the world.
You did a OK job with your a-b transitions, but you might want to take a more direct approach with the transitions though.
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